Halloween Fun

Apparently, it's autumn.

Time flies when you're having fun.

Humanity

I wandered over to Clemons today in an attempt to write.  

I sat down at a carrel and then proceeded to read every message written on it.  Some of the messages are crude references, or invitations "for a good time".  People have scratched in their initials or their Greek initials or simply initial hearts initials.  Many of the comments express the stresses of normal students - "I hate spherical coordinates."  "I hate studying."  "I'm going to ace this test!"  "Last final ever!"

But this is what's kind of amazing - most of the comments are written by students hoping to inspire and help each other.  "You are awesome!  You got this!  Faith in yourself is the 1st Step to Success!"  "I'm here for you"  (with another written under it, "Yes, really!")  "It is only in the depths of our exhaustion and madness that we approach understanding our true selves - Richard Wagner" "You are loved."  "It's almost over!  Hang in there!"  "Don't give up.  You got this!"

People respond in a conversation-like manner.  "Thanks!"  "Agreed!"  ":)" "Amen!"

And despite the fact that I have now joined the dozens of other students who have sat at this carrel, stressing over my load and my future, I feel a sense of camaraderie with these people.  People, who as beleaguered as myself, looked up from their book or their computers and scratched something out either to inspire themselves or for some unknown classmate out there who might find themselves in a tough situation.

Either way, I'm impressed and inspired and encouraged.  THANKS.

D-27.

At the Heart of It

I found this video today while looking for something to do for English class.

How to Fly the World's Fastest Plane

By the end of it, there were tears in my eyes.

It's a beautiful airplane, with some great technology.  It flew supersonic, as a matter of course.  And the men flying it got pretty close to space - I always like to imagine what space looks like and feels like and the thrill of being there.

I have a very confusing relationship with my field.  I really love aerospace engineering.  But I have no idea how I fit into it.  I love the technology that comes out of it but it also terrifies me.  The repercussions of my field have a large impact on the types of wars fought and the manner that wars are fought, as well as the types of peace sustained.  It's a fine line to walk.

What will I do in this field?  What kind of job will I hold?  How will I contribute?  Will I even be able to contribute?

I've been asking these kinds of questions now for fourteen years.  I've tried several times to entertain other options and each time, I come back.  I can't seem to walk away from something that, at the heart of it, I love.

I'm in the right field.  But is the field right for me?  I honestly don't know.

Chance of a Lifetime

My roommate and I, sometimes of a night, pull out our ukuleles and sing, "The best things in life are free."  We smile at each other.

But I don't think I've ever believed it.  Not really.

Last night, restless but determined to do something, I coaxed my roommate to take some dirt we had made to a friend.  So, off we went, in the crisp fall air to our friend's house, where we found her sheepishly finishing up a painting.  (She insisted she wasn't an artist - we weren't convinced)

Then, began a delightful catch-up session with one of my dear kindred spirit friends.  She told us stories about her most recent play, about her experiences working at historic Williamsburg and her annual autumn trips up to Boston, MA.  My roommate and I hung on to her every word, building our own castles in the sky.  Boston, you see, is a bit of a Mecca for the romantics that we are.  (And the much hoped-for destination of my roommate come graduation)

Our dear friend thrilled us with stories about her trip to a Green Gables-esque bed and breakfast, about her pilgrimages to all the great Transcendentalist writers, as well as her love affair with apples.  We have to go!  My roommate and I cried out.  Even while I listened, though, I thought: One day.

One day - this has become a mantra for my life in the past few years.  Those things require time and money - two luxuries that I simply don't have.  Instead, I content myself with the castles in the sky and feeding off the crumbs of others' adventures.  All the great experiences though, with this mantra, feel far away.  And in my time-poor and money-poor state, they feel like the experiences that I will never get.

My friend found out we enjoyed listening to her obsession over apples and pulled out a few heirloom gems for us to try.  We tasted the Hidden Rose apple which reveals a beautiful pink interior flesh and supposedly tastes like raspberry lemonade.  (Try as I might, I could only taste, "apple")  We expertly nibbled on the Lady Apple, which is the oldest cultivated apple in existence.  And we gloated over the Starlight Pippins ("stolen apples") from some famous person's overgrown garden whose name I can't remember, which had a satisfying sort of tingle when you bit into it.  Our very own heirloom apple testing!

We shared stories and laughed until our sides hurt and promised ourselves we needed to do this again, very soon.  The hours had passed like mere minutes.

As my roommate and I walked back home, my whole life felt brighter.  My roommate soaked in the autumn smell and dreamed of Boston.  I stuck my hands in my coat and realized that this sort of memory was something that had cost very little in time and money but would encourage me and buoy me up for a long time after.  I almost wanted to remain in that moment forever and then laughed at myself for the absurdity in wishing I would be stuck in ABD, stressed and frenzied dissertation writing mode forever.

Turns out you can enjoy some of the best things - friendship, laughter - for free.  Now.

Fan Girl

I've liked the Bundesliga now for over 3 years (since the 2010 World Cup).  Yes, a lot of that interest has been Hasebe-centered.  But for the record, the only Bundesliga jersey I own is Schalke's.  (And yes, in the Riveirderby today, I'm cheering for the Blues.)

Being a fan of a league on a different continent in a foreign tongue has its setbacks.  For one, I can't watch games ever.  Secondly, Google translate can only do so much.  Third, no one I know knows anything about the Bundesliga - even the ones who say their favorite team is Bayern.  (Grr...Bayern)

In spite of these roadbumps, I thought I had been making some pretty good progress.  I now know that PK can stand for Penalty Kick or Pressekonferenz.  I know the difference between the Europa League and the Champions League.  I know game schedules and standings.  I recognize players and names from just about every team in the top flight.  (Heck, I even know know how to casually use the words 'top flight' in context.)

But last week, while looking through the Bundesliga website, I found a reference to something called the Humba.  Which apparently, is becoming so famous that kids in Africa thought "the Humba was in fact the German national anthem, such was its upbeat, foot-stamping rhythm, and very German essence."

How have I never heard of this?  What is this amazing song?

As much as I can tell you, the player of the winning team yells out, "Give me an H!  Give me an U!  Give me an M!  Give me a B!  Give me an A!"  (which, is it just me, or do 'H' and 'A' sound almost identical?)  And then everyone jumps up and down and chants, "Humba, Humba, Humba." It sounds exhilarating and hilarious.

And as anyone from UVa can attest, there's nothing so fun as jumping up and down in the cold singing made-up words:  Wah-hoo-wah!  Wah-hoo-wah!  Univ-V, Virginia!  Hoo-rah-ray, Hoo-rah-ray.  Ray, ray, UVA!

Addendum: My roommate and I found the song with lyrics.  It's our new house song and we sing it and jump up and down whenever we can now.  (As in the past half hour since we discovered it.)

In a Name (on little or no sleep)

Here are snippets from a conversation my roommate and I had while I tried to convince myself that "less than four hours of sleep is legit" and she tried to convince herself, "No, I really do need the next three hours to sleep" after coming back from her eight-hour shift at the hospital.  I'm putting quotes but I don't remember who said what.

"Do you think that they shortened names in the Book of Mormon for nicknames? I mean, sure, he's Jeffrey R. Holland in the scriptures, but he's Jeff in real life."

"Yeah, we could shorten Nephi to just 'Neph'.  That's actually pretty awesome.  I want to name my kid Nephi so I can call him Neph."

"Yeah, I'm not naming any of my children Nephi.  Maybe my cat...er..."

"Lemuel could be shortened to 'Lem'.  Hahaha, Laman would be shortened to Lame-o!"

"Would we call Alma 'Al'?"

"How do you ever shorten Amaleki?  If you call him 'Amal' it's so close to Alma, you'd always  get those two confused."

"Or maybe their names in the Book of Mormon are the nicknames."

"What if we're completely mispronouncing the names in the Book of Mormon?  They spoke Hebrew and wrote in reformed Egyptian.  Surely, our American pronunciations are wrong."

"But Joseph Smith met several of them, right?  He had to have learned how to pronounce it."

"Or he pronounced it wrong every time.  And poor Moroni, maybe, he cringes every time we say it.  Every time, every single one of us talks about him, he's up in Heaven, groaning over how much we butcher his name."

"Maybe he's like, 'Dad, why couldn't you have given me a simpler name?  Like yours?"

"And Mormon's like, 'Well, son, we couldn't both be named Mormon.  That would have confused everyone.  I'd have to give you a nickname and shorten it to Momo or something.'"

"Hahahahaha.  We have the best conversations when we're both exhausted.  We should always make a point to talk to each other when we're both sleep deprived."

2AM And I Must Be Lonely

I went looking for good 2AM songs to jam to while I worked and found this instead.

Star Date with 2AM.

Date at 2AM with 2AM?

Sleep would be nice too.  But dissertations don't write themselves.