I found this old post that I wrote but never posted. It still rings true.
Old post:
Goodbyes.
Who is good with them? Movies. I've decided it's much easier to be poignant and touching and everything you wish you were when you have a script and a director who tells you to do it again if it's not right.
On Friday, after the Conference, Fujita-san came up to me while I was working on the computer.
Fujita-san: I'm going to Australia tomorrow so I won't see you again.
Me: ?? (I was still in denial)
Fujita-san: Anyway, I just wanted to give you a little gift.
Me: What? A gift? <Thinking, 'I should be the one giving YOU a gift'> Can I open it?
Fujita-san: Yes, please.
I open it - it's a calligraphy pen.
Fujita-san: So that you can practice writing characters.
Me: This is so great! Thank you! <At this point, I really just wanted to jump up and throw my arms around him to thank him for being such a great person and friend but since that would only end awkwardly, in the middle of the conference no less, I stayed seated and pinned my arms down by my side lest I give in to my impulses>
The result was:
Fujita-san: Well, good bye.
Me: Thank you so much for everything. Good bye.
Except, three seconds after he left, I wanted to chase him down and do it all over again, with a better script.
Back to our regular programming:
The other day I ran into one of my English students. He was one of those students that I felt an instant bond with. Our first meeting I ended up talking to him mostly in Chinese (and sometimes in fake Japanese/Chinese - yeah, it's as awkward as it sounds) and I just marveled once again in the joy of kindred spirits.
Each week, he never failed to bring a smile to my face, to say something that had me nodding in agreement. One time, during a role play, he announced he had no friends and I teasingly took issue with it. So he changed it: "Oh, I do have one friend - Erin."
Well, English class is over the semester and he is returning to China before it starts up again. Running into him was absolutely fortuitous, a great chance to say goodbye.
The result was similar to above:
Me: So, you're going back to China?
Friend: Yes.
Me: I wish you the best of luck. Take care!
Friend: Ok, bye.
So casual, so carefree. Except that, again, I wanted to run after him and say, "Just kidding! Don't say good bye. Be my friend forever!"
Because that's really what I want.
Isn't that what we all want? I hate goodbyes too.
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