Sunday, December 21, 2014

Answers

Dear Erin,

We here at Google have noticed lately that you've been spending a lot of time in the past three days on Facebook and rereading old posts of your blog.  If you will kindly refer to the quote of the day that we posted on your email, James Joyce once said, "The actions of men are the best interpreters of thoughts."  Your every Internet action allows us the best interpretation of how you currently feel about your life.

Our big data analysis shows us that people who similarly spend large amounts of time as you have are usually contemplating their lives and are waiting for direction on how to improve them.  Our personalized ads, which we like to think of more as "life improvement promotionals" (LIP) are here to help you adjust to your new life in the Boston area.  Not only that, we place them along the sidebar and also interspersed on your Facebook newsfeed for helpful access to creating a better You.

Some of the LIP we provide you are as follows:

(1) Find a new place to live!
(2) 10 ways that you're scaring off men
(3) Helpful hints for dressing your husband more professionally
(4) Take time with your husband away from your newborn.

We know that moving to a big city as a single woman/married woman/married woman with children is difficult.   So, please take our suggestions seriously.  If you will note in all the pictures in the promotionals, we make people's lives better!

Sincerely,

The Google Life Coaches

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