Not-so-Small Miracles

Last night, as my roommate and I sat at our dining room table and chatted, somehow the topic came to our missions.  We talked for a long time about our relationships with our companions, about each of our areas, about the members, our investigators and our numbers.  We both wondered, truly wondered, even years after the fact, if we had been successful.  

At one point my roommate told me about the transfer where she spent part of it without a companion, which required her to leave her area without any missionaries to serve in it while she tagged along with another companionship in another area.  And then for the last part of the transfer, she found a member who was willing to be her short-term companion for a few weeks.  My roommate shook her head sadly, "Our numbers were horrible during that time."  

I nodded in understanding.  

But then I thought about it again.  Here was a 21 year-old girl in the middle of the Philippines.  She had been there for probably about half a year.  In any other situation, these are the things she should have counted as successes: 

"Yay!  I actually had a conversation with someone in Tagalog today."

"I made it across town to this address the person gave me and made it back home without getting lost." 

"I think I'm finally able to understand the gist of what people are talking about at church."  

But instead, my dear roommate was worried because she hadn't been talking to enough people, or teaching enough people about the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  My roommate was stressed, even years after the fact, that she hadn't helped more people.  

Something clicked inside of me.  "Don't you think it's kind of crazy?  We were 21 year olds in foreign countries, actually responsible for and assisting in the work of God!"  

She looked at me and I think we both realized, our missions, even on the most basic level, were no small miracles.