Auf Wiedersehen

Dear Hasebe Kato-san AKA Guai Guai AKA Makoto-son AKA Kates AKA Hasebe Car,

Mein liebling auto, oh, how I love you.  I loved all our road trips  and the late night drives.  I loved that you smelled like crayons.  I loved that you were from Wolfsburg.  I loved your quirks - that you panicked if I didn't say goodnight, that you panicked at the sight of snow, that you panicked if I got in the car and sat for too long before turning the key.  You were such a chum - you never cared if I listened to Asian music or musical music or American music or no music.  You didn't mind if I screamed out my frustrations or cheered from happiness.  You always got me back home safely, no matter how tired I was or how bad the roads were.  We were like a team, Kato dear, and now you are gone.  And I am missing you.  I know a person shouldn't love inanimate objects but I can't help it - you were the trusted sidekick I needed to get me through the past few years of graduate school.  Sure, you took all my money and abandoned me for the last final push of school but it doesn't even matter anymore.  I'll just remember the good stuff.

Love,
Me

Brewing Thoughts

I have a lot of serious things on my mind so while I mull over them, let's peruse the superficial.

(1) I want to write a short story that includes my awkward experiences as a human being.  However, I have no idea where to begin.  Somehow, I feel that I would have to be a literary genius such that the full glory of my awkward life is exhibited while remaining entertaining.  Any ideas?

(2) A few weeks ago, the JNT played a friendly against Norway.  Despite the fact that most of the first team was not in attendance, I was surprised to find that I recognized and still knew most of the team.  Realizing that I knew so much about a team that I have no real connections to, I decided that I should show a little more hometown loyalty and so I dutifully looked up the USMNT to find out if I could attend a game and show my support.  Instead, I came to the conclusion that it has been too long since USA has played Japan. Their last showdown was six years in San Francisco and, incidentally, the debut of Makoto Hasebe.  I think it's time for a rematch.  In DC please - I have never watched my Samurais play live and I would love the opportunity to wear blue and scream their names and wring my hands in desperation as I hope for a win.

(3) Kato works again!  Yesterday, when I went to pick up his new battery, I accidentally said "Wolfsburg" the German way before correcting myself and repeating it like an American would. The auto store clerk took it in stride but my friends and I laughed at my mistake the rest of the night.  It's good to have my sidekick with me again, even if I live in fear that any minute he's going to break again.

(4) This weekend, I spent a considerable amount of time with my friend and her fiance.  On Friday, we picked up a friend from the airport and then returned home to go running and then watch a movie about Steve Prefontaine.  On Sunday, we put together 80 invitations and ate dinner.  It was during the dinner - nothing more than leftovers from other meals - that I realized how much my friend's life is changing.  In a few months, I will eat a meal at that same table and watch those two laugh and chat and enjoy each other but they will be married, not just dating.  I couldn't be happier for them.

(5) Makoto Hasebe has been looking so happy and at peace in pictures on his blog and on the soccer websites.  Any guesses as to why?  I'm pretty curious.
Previously:

Recently:

I've never seem him like this at a
press conference before
Source: Tumblr
Photo Credit: Koko NAGAHAMA

(6) I found this on the sidewalk last week:

My thoughts immediately went to the Korean boy band, Trax ,which boasts such hits as "Oh, My Goddess" and "Blind".  It next went to the transit system in Utah.  It wasn't until I googled Trax that I discovered that it was mostly likely a nod to the club that Dave Matthews Band used to frequent.  It closed in 2001, making that sidewalk at least 10 years old.

(7) While out walking the other day, I walked past this fashion statement:

Is this for real?  Do people really wear seafoam green pants with plaid shirts?  Or is this just a UVa thing?

The Blues

(1) I was talking with my sister on the phone the other day and she was telling me adorable stories about my niece. One night, my sister put the Baby down to sleep.  As my sister walked out of the room, she heard my niece quietly practicing words to herself.  "B..b...b..lue.  B..lue...  Blue."

(2) BIGBANG, a Korean pop band, put out this music video entitled Blue about a week ago.  It seems someone besides my niece has been practicing how to say 'blue' as well.  I really like this song and find it wonderfully appropriate that kpop is keeping up with the current trends of my niece.

(3) The Samurai Blues played this morning (5:30 EST) and lost to Uzbekistan.  Sad day.   I was hoping for a good successful game for my boys.  Instead, most of the team will have to take their jet lagged little selves back to their various teams with only a second place finish in their group for this round of the World Cup qualifiers.

Source: Tumblr.
Photo credit: Koki NAGAHAMA

Source: Tumblr,
Photo credit: Koki NAGAHAMA

In any case, it was nice to have them back home for a few days.  I always forget how much I miss them in their roles as JNT representatives rather than Bundesliga spieler, etc until they're back in Japan.  But by the time I've rejoiced in having them back in Japan, they've already played and left again.  Such is the life of a fan in a time zone 14 hours behind.

(4) It's the last day in February. I was supposed to hear from the NSF if I was going to get the Japanese internship by the end of February. I was really hoping for that internship. Now I have to learn to deal without it. Singing my blues on repeat above.

(5) The day started out with some fabulous thunderstorms and heavy rain. I normally love rain. However, since Kato-san is currently out of commission, that meant I walked 30 minutes to work in the pouring down rain. On the other hand, this is the gorgeous view that greeted me last night when I left the lab to walk home.

Life Throws me Through a Loop

Dear Daren,

Am I gullible or what?  "Hey, Erin, I need you to walk in that room."  Why was I so willing, so blindly willing to follow your suggestion?  The moment I walked in, I was met with three men who looked at me expectantly, "Are you our violinist?"  Ummm... It's a good thing I need an excuse to pick up playing again.

Love,
Me


Dear VfL Wolfsburg,

You now allow me to vote for man of the match?  You do realize that I can only watch matchcasts and listen to the radio broadcast in a language I don't understand, right?  And thus it's a rare day when I know who actually had a stellar day.  I'm afraid that all too quickly this could turn into the poll ESPN attempted last year regarding favorite World Cup song --  Super Junior won by a landslide thanks to adoring fangirls (seriously, how is 90+% even a fair poll?).

Love,
Me

P.S. How did Hosogai Hajime from the opposite team end up in every single picture from the game?  I know he's awesome, but really?


Dear Life,

We all know dances make me nervous, especially those slow songs when no one asks me to dance.  For perhaps the first time in my life, I had the courage to ask that handsome man to dance and found out that he spoke Chinese.  My efforts seemed to be further rewarded by him asking for my phone number and introducing me to his other Chinese-speaking friend.  When I got a text that night from him that night I was elated.  My friends and I rejoiced in my courage and my good fortune...except that text message was not from him after all but the new neighbor in my apartment complex.  Figures.  It was too perfect to be real.  Thanks for the fantasy anyway.

Love,
Me


Dear Self,

You didn't go to your sister's for Thanksgiving so you could work on your paper.  You also hoped that you could get your sleep and not get sick from your niece AGAIN.  Except you still can't sleep and now you're sick.  How is that fair?

Love,
Me


Dear Kato,

You're looking ragged these days.  People tell me I look the same.  We make quite the pair, don't we?  Let's survive graduate school, ok?  You're still 'mein liebling auto'.

Love,
Me


Dear 中文,

Did you know that the other day, at 2 am, I realized that I spoke Mandarin?  I know, it shouldn't be a new revelation but it was.  There is nothing in my life that says I should speak this very foreign language - it has been 7.5 years since the mission, I don't take lessons and I don't have many people to speak with even for the most basic of greetings and phrases.  And yet, there I was, completely exhausted, looking for a book on my bookshelf and muttering about it in Mandarin.  I love that you're still in my life.  I hope that you always will be.

Love,
Me

Apologist

Dear English class,

I know that you are all anxious to read and discuss current events but lately, all the issues on the news just make me depressed.  Thanks for being good sports and humoring me with discussing the history of the ad industry in America instead.

Love,
Me

The Japanese version

The American version (sadly, I kind of like the Japanese one better)

Dear Taemin,

You are the cutest thing ever.  My sister and I want to adopt you.  We will be the best American noonas you never had.

Love,
Me

With hair like that and those blue-green contacts in, 

he looks like he might just belong in the family....Kind of.  

Dear Research,

I used to think something was wrong with you.  Now I understand, it's really just me.  I have no idea what I'm doing.

Love,
Me


Dear Kato,

I almost didn't know what to think when you went two weeks without a check engine light on.  I'm still in shock.  Inspections are up this month.  I life half in fear and half in hope.  Be a loyal sidekick, there's a dear.

Love,
Me


Dear F4,

Didn't I say you would grow to love me?  And buy me expensive things?  Although I wasn't happy to find my milk souring and my ice cream in a puddle in the freezer, it has been nice to get that nice new white shiny big fridge.  Several times a day now, I walk over to the fridge to open it and marvel how tiny my collection of food now looks.  Might I recommend a new dishwasher next?  Or a new stove?

Love,
Me


Dear Chinese PhD people,

I know that six years seems a long time to be in a graduate PhD program.  Believe me, I still wonder how I so blindly walked into this.  However, it's still a respectable time to graduate in.  Please stop laughing at me and bluntly telling me exactly how I've been messing up in my life plans.  Graduate school, you see, is already doing a great job at that.

Love,
Me


Dear Life,

A few weeks ago, while driving back from DC, a reverend giving a sermon on the radio said that the most common question he finds among people is, "Who am I?"  Thanks to you, I am getting a clear picture of who I am and who I am not.  However, that also comes with a healthy dose of, "I have no idea what I'm doing."  Care to enlighten me?

Love,
Me


Dear Vfl Wolfsburg,

People think I only like you because of a certain one of your teammates <cough Makoto Hasebe cough>. But honestly, I like your whole team.  I love Marcel for his zealous attention to Facebook.  I love Mandzukic for that amazing talent he has to look both disgusted and confused in every picture I've seen of him.  I love that Lakic's greatest self-admitted weakness is being too nice.  (You can guess that from just a glance at him - his eyes are too kind)  I also completely respect Hasan, Christian and Josue and so many others.  (Ochs, Helmes)  Now that you've made me a loyal fan, I'd love if it you'd start to show the rest of the Bundesliga what you're made of.

Love,
Me

Source: Vfl Wolfburg Fussball Webseite

Dear Taiwan,

It's that time of year again.  (Haha, when is it not that time of year?)  You know, that time when I miss you and wish that you and I were nearer?  But seriously, I'm craving hotpot and night markets and my friends.  Any chance you want to start a significant space program?  

Love,

Me

More about Living, Less about Surviving

Friday:
Ford Focus     Virginia     Rain     West Virginia     Only one radio station?     Rain     Maryland     Downpour   Soccer jersey     Sweatshirt     Ragnar T-shirt    Poncho     Mosquitoes    Bug spray   Waiting    Passing out water    Laughing    Engineer-ish    Breathtaking sunset    Sarah   Anna   Marc   one-sided rivalry against the Tutus?     Buffalo Wild Wings     BYU v. Central Florida    The art of being an umpire    Samurai Blue   Soccer   Makoto Hasebe    Of course, who else?   West Virginia   Two radio stations, finally!   Virginia

Saturday:
Kato   Lost    Four 1st Streets, really?     Cemetery    Service project     Clean Up    Brer Rabbit     Bloody forehead? - nope, it's just berry juice     1 scooter     1 toy gun     1 VHS cassette     1 tire rim   1 nature-reclaimed roll of carpet   Lots of bottles and glass     3 tires     1 truck fender     1 toilet     1 80's TV set     an entire treehouse     Bags and bags and bags and bags of random trash     Spudnuts     Long country drive     50 Llama points?!     Avoid the cemetery    Free Union    Won the Animal Game     Lis     Jenny     Hello Baby     Kelly     RS Broadcast     President Carter   Patience   Rhys    Jolene        

Sunday:
Bruises    Bugbites     wishing I was Melanie     Choir Practice     Church     Miso    Life with lots of siblings    Dinner Group    Lindsey    Isa    Super Junior    Shinee     Beast     Makoto Hasebe    (it's a good sign I'm tired when he comes up)


A weekend worth living.

Alternate Reality

On Kato:
Kyuhyun: 我罵你。(Translation: I'm scolding you) My thoughts exactly.

On construction outside our apartment:
Jason: I honestly want to learn how to do their work and help them.  Surely these guys need some help meeting their deadline. I was just thinking of offering to make them lemonade.

On the Bundesliga:
Leander Schaerlaeckens: "While the English Premier League is seen as the gold standard, a scenario is unfolding in which the Bundesliga could surpass the EPL to become the world's most popular and successful soccer league. If that sounds like a stretch, consider that the Bundesliga is already the best-attended league and arguably the most exciting one, too.  


German soccer is leading the way on another front as well. Most European soccer clubs are struggling with massive debt. The 20 English Premier League clubs have a combined debt that has spiraled to $4.45 billion. In La Liga, last year's 20 teams rang up $4.65 billion in debt. Contrast that with Germany, where the country's 36 pro teams are (wait for it) actually making money." The US could stand to take some lessons from your business plan.  


On China: 
DuChun: High speed trains have officially started running from Beijing to Shanghai, moving China into an unprecedented era of technology. This may make me sound like a nerd but I am really excited/jealous.  


On NASA: 
Todd Halvorson:  "Since Columbia and seven astronauts were lost during atmospheric re-entry in 2003, when heat shield damage went undetected, NASA always has had a second shuttle ready for a rescue mission. But this time, there's no backup. Atlantis is outfitted with NASA's last shuttle external tank and solid rocket boosters.
So NASA developed an alternate plan: The crew would stay on the station and make staggered returns on Russian Soyuz spacecraft." Who would ever have thought back in the day of the Space Race that this would be the reality of the Russian/US space programs?  It is interesting to be getting a degree in a field that is dying.


On Research:
If I had not missed my deadline, I would be in Hawaii right now.  Ah, Hawaii.  I can imagine the trip would include a lot of engineering and a lot of sitting by myself and just looking at the ocean.  (Why is it that when you're old, all you want to do is sit and stare at the scenery?)

With a Heart for Any Fate

Someone once told me that my blog always consists of me thinking about things rather than doing things.  So today, I will attempt to ameliorate that by giving you a glimpse at my weekend.

On Friday:
I picked up my car from the mechanics.
I bought groceries for dinner and made: eggplant, pork, spinach, and rice. 
The weather was so nice, Ashley and I took our coffee table outside onto our porch and pulled out some cushions and ate Japanese style.
I watched part of Bend It Like Beckham while looking up important things on Wikipedia such as: David Beckham, Women's Soccer Association, Yuki Abe, Urawa Reds, and MLS.
Lindsey came over and we went on a late night run where we talked about men who confuse us, our plans for the next day.  Lindsey pushed me into a bush and laughed about it while I sputtered in shock. 

On Saturday:
I woke up at 4 am, showered and got ready to go the temple.
At 5:20, we left for the temple. 
At 6:30, my car started exhibiting the exact same problems it had before I took it to the mechanic's.  I proceeded to get frustrated at my car in Chinese.  Lindsey tried to help by muttering in French.  Our friend who was asleep in the back seat didn't notice a thing.
At 7:30 we arrived at the temple and had a nice time there.
At 11 we left DC to go to Fredericksburg.  Three hours later, we finally made it to Fredericksburg.  I was tempted to ask everyone on the road where they were going since we were apparently all going the same direction. 
In Fredericksburg, I decided that Kato was not going to make it to Cville so we called around to find a mechanic, went to the one we were directed to only to find it was closed, as were most of the mechanics in Fredericksburg.  We stopped by a Jiffy Lube to ask for help and met some very nice individuals who sympathized with our situation and ran a free diagnostic on my car. 
We decided to try to go back to Charlottesville anyway.
At 6:00 we made it back to Cville, dropped the car back off at the mechanic's.
Walked in on the last part of a wedding reception and talked with some friends while assisting with minimal cleanup. 
Played piano for a friend's baptism.
Made the fastest shopping trip ever at the Oriental Market buying bulgogi sauce, 20 lb rice, strawberry mochi, and gochujang.
Went normal shopping at Kroger.
Realized I bought the wrong thing and went back to the grocery store.
Ashley and I convinced Jason to watch The Road Home with us.  We laughed at the fun parts and despite our teasing, I still managed to cry at the end. 

On Sunday:
I got up to write a talk. 
Couldn't write or even think of anything important about my life more recent than 7 years ago.
Sliced up the meat for bulgogi and made an ice cream cake.
Got ready and attended church were I: conducted an acapella number for church meeting, gave a talk on love, cried for 40 minutes in an empty classroom after it was done, went to the last meeting where I discovered that people actually got something out of my horrible rambling.
Went home and made dinner for Ashley's birthday dinner: bulgogi, eggplant, napa cabbage, miso soup, and rice.
Ate dinner with friends I have not spent time with in a LONG while.  We shared stories and laughed a lot.
Ate the ice cream cake.
Did the dishes.
Went on a walk.
Came back and invited more people over to help us finish the ice cream cake.
Did more dishes.
Watched a tribute clip for a friend.
Sent a text message to our friend to let him know we were thinking about him.
Returned home and worked on some Chinese translation. 

Let us be up and doing with a heart for any fate.
Check and check. 

The Girl who Cried 'Wolf'

Dear Self,

Do you remember that time when you spent all your time in the lab to meet a deadline?  And how because of that, you avoided doing anything extraneous?  And how no one really thought that life was different for you? And they asked to you to concern yourself with normal stuff?  Rather than the thing that literally occupies every waking thought?  And how you might be pulling your first all-nighter in graduate school?

When you get past this impending terrifying deadline, no matter what the outcome, make sure you stop telling everyone that you're busy...because apparently they've already stopped believing you.

Love,
Me

Since we're on the subject of wolves, here is my favorite one:

Source: Vfl Wolfsburg Fussball Seite

Dear Self,

Remember when your other favorite wolf (Hasebe  the car) broke down on your way to pick up some terribly-bad-for-you-dinner so you could have that all-nighter? So instead, you went home and got a few hours of sleep?  Sometimes, that dear little Kato of yours has more sense than you give him credit for. 

Love,
Me

Intelligent non-smart phone

Dear Phone,

Yesterday, you took the plunge, sliding around the floorboard of my car onto the sidewalk and into the gutter and right down into that manhole.  I heard you hit the ground with a clatter.  And there you were, at the bottom of a manhole, where I couldn't reach you.  It's like you put yourself in permanent timeout - your own little deserted island all to yourself.

You served yourself well, as in, you didn't really serve me much at all.  Sure, you had the cool slide up aspect that drew me to you.  Sure, you took some great pictures.  But when it came to actually being a phone, you failed...all the time.

For not being a smart phone, you were the smartest phone I've ever had contact with.  You had this knack for always going 'out of service' when someone needed to get a hold of me.

Example: the night of Christmas.  I drive through 8 hours of horrible snow conditions.  While I slept off my exhaustion, my sister goes into a panic.  Why?  She never received the text I sent her saying that I got home safe.  When she called my phone, you gave a trite little message, "Cannot find this person.  Please wait while this person is located."  Do you realize what such a message sounds like to a concerned loved one?  I'm sure she imagined me in a ditch or worse.  It was only after calling all of my friends and my roommate driving over to come find me at home that I realized that you had temporarily signed yourself offline.

Forgettable, even forgivable, if it was just this one time.  But No!  It was EVERY single time it was critical that I have access to a phone or someone have access to me.  I started to become impressed, actually, by your 'impeccable' timing.  You were brilliant in your laziness.

So, when you fell down the drain, I marveled again - I still had 7 hours ahead of me in my weekend of driving.  A phone would have been nice, important even, for the hours ahead.  And instead, you gave yourself a one-way ticket to retirement.

My sister marveled that I wasn't sad for my loss.  I was sad...and angry..and in awe.

Shouldn't I be thrilled you gave your notice?  Shouldn't I have fired you months ago and returned back to my old phone?  But instead, even now, I'm just keep wondering about that little phone all by his lonesome in that manhole.

Serves me right for loving you in spite of your faults.

Love,
Me

People, Places and Things

People:

Dear Makoto: Congrats on the win.  But why the need to be the one who retrieves the soccer ball from the net after a goal?  (P.S. When you do so, you run like a little boy.  It's hilarious/adorable)

Dear Matt: It was nice meeting you in Kroger the other day.  Who knew that a BYU sweatshirt would bring about such a conversation?  Best luck to you in the JAG School.  Despite your confusing upbringing, I promise BYU really is the team to cheer for.  :)

Dear English Class: Thanks to you I spent last work trying harder to be a better cook and also to really analyze how I live my life.  You're right - I've neglected a lot of the traditions of my parents and grandparents.  I will do better.

Dear Chinese couple: It feels like a small world when I see you at two different stores in my series of errands, almost as though the next time we meet we will do more than nod and smile.  Perhaps even a 'hello'.


Places:

Dear DC:  We meet so often that I sometimes forget how much you have to offer.  Thanks for always surprising me.  

Dear Taipei: I found a map of you the other day in my car.  What it was doing there, I have no idea.  But it was nice to pretend for even a split second that I would need to know how to get from YongHe to Beitou.


Things:

Dear Kato 'Makoto-son': I'm giving you a yellow card.  And I'm letting you sit the bench.  One of us likes spending my money and it's not me.

Dear Jackhammers: At 7:30 twice?  Really? My high school Spanish teacher once taught me- the way to call someone a jerk in Spanish is to call them a jackhammer.  I'm starting to agree with her.

Dear Spring: The warmer air, the rain and the sound of birds in the trees all make me anxious for your return.  Either come quickly or stop tempting me.

Love,
Me

Half thoughts

Dear Makoto,

I'm not sure why my first conscious thought these past few days always includes you.  On Sunday morning it was, "I need to go vote for Makoto to win MVP from Singapore"* and this morning it was, "Makoto can't waste away his best playing days sitting the bench."

I blame your poster/calendar.

Love,
Me
* I can't claim that it was a coherent thought even if it was a conscious one

Dear Steve McClaren,

Sure, I was upset that you didn't put Mako-chan in the game on Saturday.  And I bemoaned your decision-making all weekend.  But I never expected you to get sacked.

I'm wishing I never thought anything even close to negative about you.  Good luck.

Love,
Me


Dear Kato,

You know I love you right?  Turning on your check engine light only a week after getting you out of the shop is a little much.  But three months in a row???

In this relationship, why do you get to be the one who is "high maintenance"?

Love,
Me


Dear Lab,

Let's pretend that you love me.  And that you really want to work.  And give me good results.  So that I can stop getting angry in Chinese and cease throwing ice on the nice trees outside.

Think of it as an early birthday present.

Love,
Me


Dear Sub-conscious,

Sleeping these past few days has been exhausting.  Could we try a plot line that doesn't involve me getting chased and hunted down?

At this point, I might even accept folding socks.

Love,
Me


Dear Life,

Since all of my career plans from the past 29 1/2 years have failed to come to fruition, I am now opening the floor to suggestions.

Accepting: open doors or windows of opportunity.

Love,
Me

Blessings in Disguise

Life doesn't turn out as we thought.  My life is the perfect example of that.

And sometimes things that seem like big disappointments prove to be our greatest blessings.

Exhibit A:

I failed kindergarten.  For those who know me simply as the always reading, opinionated and conversational engineer scholar, that may be hard to believe.  But it's true.  When my parents and teacher were making the choice whether to let me move on to first grade, they counseled and chose to hold me back a year.

Exhibit B:

I fail IQ tests.  I'm not sure that people can fail them.  But if there's such a thing, I've done it.  Every time I've moved to a new school system and people have given me those weird tests that require anagrams and timers and just random pattern games (doesn't this sound like an IQ test?) I never test in the "gifted" range.  As a result it always took a few years to convince anyone that I could do okay in the advanced classes.

Exhibit C:

While in Taiwan, I never got to serve on the East Coast.  That may not seem like a big deal for those who don't know what the East Coast of Taiwan looks like.  But it was most often described as "Paradise" and "Heaven" or "The Garden of Eden".  Seriously.  And aside from my trainer, every single one of my colleagues spent some amount of time serving there.

Exhibit D:

A few months ago, right after I had spent considerable money on getting Kato fixed and his worn out front tires replaced, I got a flat tire.  And so had to get Kato a new wheel and a new tire which meant Kato got the bulk of what I was planning on spending for Christmas.


And the result of all of this?

Everything in my life was pushed back a year so that when the moves happened, I was in such a grade that I met all the wonderful people in my life that I met.  I could never have asked for better friends in middle school and in high school.

And all of this moving led to the fact that while in the "normal" biology class in 10th grade (oh I was so upset I was now a year behind everyone else) I was nominated and alerted to the fact that there was a school that I would later attend and which school would change the course of my life.

While I never served in Taiwan's coveted spot, I was able to be in the same Stake for over a year and get to know one section of Taipei really well.  Plus, I got to attend the temple every six weeks which has marked a distinct pattern in my current life.

While driving through a snowstorm and taking 8 hours to drive something that normally takes only 4, I was extremely grateful to have 3 brand new tires on my car rather than just 2.  Just knowing that I had just that much more traction helped.  Safety trumps amazing Christmas gifts any day.  (In the words of Heber J. Grant, I'd rather be hours late to a meeting than 50 years early to eternity.)


It puts life in perspective.  It puts my current disappointments in perspective.

Don't judge a book by its cover.  Don't judge the end by the beginning.  And don't declare yourself a failure EVER.

Words to live by.

I'll be Home for Christmas

Lately...

I have made a Super Junior man cookie.  Please note the fabulous Asian hair.

Enjoyed some pre-Christmas snow

In the past week...

I have driven to Culpeper, to Richmond, to DC/Baltimore...

 And to Charlotte, North Carolina.

That's over 1200 miles...

 While in Charlotte, I found this sign depicting energy drinks quite amusing,

 And I saw a great light show at the Charlotte Speedway (actually located in Concord)

 Where we laughed at horse-drawn trees...

And got to drive on the actual Speedway track going as fast as we could so we didn't fall off the curve in a mini-van.

It's nice to come home.

Merry Christmas, friends!

Love,
Me

Kindred Spirits the World Over

Dear World,

Running down O-Hill on Friday, I was so thrilled to be out in the cold and to see the hot air balloon in the air and that it was Friday that I just cheered as I jumped and ran down the hill.  And then, I looked up and saw some man walking the opposite direction as me.  He had been watching me dance and cheer to myself and now he was laughing at me and then with me as called out some encouraging comment.

Driving to the Christmas Devotional on Sunday, I pulled up to a light as I pushed back my hair out of my face.  In the process I glanced over and realized that the car next to me thought the gesture was a wave and smiled before catching his mistake.  So I gave him a large encouraging smile before becoming self-conscious myself when he nodded back.

On Tuesday, Kato blew a tire.  It was frustrating to have a flat while trying to get to the temple but within minutes, a kind man stopped to help.  And then when he realized we didn't have all we needed, Lindsey and I settled into the tall prairie grass to eat the rest of our lunch and wait in the breezy cold weather to wait for AAA. And despite the cold, it was glorious.  Until another kind man with a big smile stopped and pulled out his tools to help us out.

Yesterday when I was trying to find a way to get to rehearsal, unconsciously asking myself how I was going to figure out where to do, I wondered why the Chinese man gave me a big grin as he held the door open for me.  It was only an hour later that I realized I had been mumbling aloud to myself in Chinese.

It seems at those moments when I am my most awkward self that I find friends and people who understand and reach out.

You dear, dear thing!

Love,
Me

Random

Mountain Lake Biological Station, August 2009

I went to a bookstore on Saturday evening and bought 11 books.  Two of them were books I had read before and just wanted to own.  8 of them dealt with Asian issues.

Every Sunday, I spend my morning twisting my hair around my finger and thinking about my life.  I get ready while thinking about the Saints in Taiwan.  I spend the 5 minute car ride to church panicking about the things I have failed to do that week.  I spend the first hour in church near tears about the enormous responsibility of being a member of the kingdom of God.  By the end of Sunday I have forgotten that the load I carry is too heavy to bear.

I keep thinking tomorrow is the day that I get to go to the temple.  And then I remember it's a 5th Tuesday.

The South Korean/Taiwan argument leaves me feeling confused.  

The South Korean/North Korean/China/US military skirmish leaves me feeling vulnerable.

Did you know that 'fun' is a noun?  I've never thought about its place in the grammar world before yesterday.  But it is most decidedly a noun.  Like 'love'.  Or 'hope'.

I really like the Dominoes Mexican Train game.  The more I play, the bigger the gap I lose by.  And yet, shuffling all the dominoes reminds me of friends and good conversation and I wonder if this is why people like mahjong.

I wish I knew what happened to my short story entitled, The Egg.  It was possibly the closest I have ever come to a good story or pretend good literature.  Watching Wongfu Productions' movies makes me think that it would make a good movie too.

What constitutes some great thing?  I think I keep hoping that I will accomplish some great thing in my life.  But I barely can handle the little things... like eating lunch or eating breakfast... or doing my laundry... or figuring out how to create a dll...

Makoto didn't play yesterday.  And his team didn't win.  They just tied AGAIN.

Kato got pulled over on Wednesday by a really nice cop who tried to make small talk.  It's a little unnerving for a cop to tell you he is familiar with your street when you are 3 hours away from home.  Especially when you don't know if he's just about to hand you a ticket.

Although I lead a busy life that has its daily random adventures, I secretly wish I was a creature of habit who spends her evenings cooking meals, doing laundry and dishes and ends up curled up with a good book.

I miss Asia every day.  I wish I didn't.  I wish I could turn off my heart.  And my thoughts.

Love,
Me

Crazy Head

Dear Flu, The World has stopped making sense. Because of you, I couldn't sleep last night.  Instead, I stayed up and read half a book all the way through (every other chapter). I made a new frienemy this weekend and I don't even know what that means.  Are we deep down really friends?  Or are we deep down just enemies?  Why can't I understand a thing he says? Kato went into a panic TWICE last night. 長谷部誠 was taken out of the game in the 59th minute and then his team ended up losing the game. I had a dream that I was taking a popular culture survey and I had to remember and critique significant events in the year 1983. And 韩庚's 女皇 (Empress) is stuck on repeat in my head. Is everything just fuzzy and confusing because you are here? Love, Me Currently Noticing: 我不知道該_______ (Wǒ bù zhīdào gāi）(I don't know what I should ________)  Currently Listening: 我喜歡，不，我愛 by Yen-j 

Postscripts

Dear Self,

Getting your passport renewed is quite the adventure.  But I have yet to understand why/how you managed to look the exact same in this passport photo as you did 10 years ago - same hairstyle, same expression and everything.

Love,
Me

Dear Makoto,

My trip to Germany was all planned and I just wanted to overlook the fact that between the last Bundesliga match in December and the first one in January, you would probably go back to Japan.  I could only hope that you would return a little early for practice.  Little could I forsee that you would actually be playing your next match in Qatar.

Love,
Me

Dear Kato,

I tried to take good care of you.  And what did you do?!  Got yourself checked into the mechanic's 'until further notice'.  Do you really not love me that much?  I'm willing to pay your bills and everything.  Just come back to me and soon.

Love,
Me

Dear Heechul,

The South Korean Justin Bieber?!  A quarter million followers on Twitter?! Really?  Do you know how hard it is to pretend to have a crush on you when I have no idea why girls really do have crushes on you?  This makes my pretend fight with my sister extremely difficult.

Love,
Me

Dear World,

I don't know how you do it.  You can be perfectly cruel and perfectly miraculous at the same time.  You wage war, destruction and tragedy in the midst of sunny days and blue skies.  When my heart yearns to ache from all the hurt I see, then you give me something like the Chilean mining miracle that leaves me in awe.  And yet, when I wish to rejoice in the beauty of humanity, you seek to show me how much hate can be hurled around instead.

Love,
Me

Dear Dreams,

Do not give up on me yet.  I have not given up on you.  I still think that my great can be worth something great, to someone, somewhere, sometime.  How much I wish to help and to serve and to love.  My heart is big enough sometimes to just burst.  Meanwhile, I trudge along with my feet of clay, walking, ever walking and waiting for and looking for...you

Love,
Me

Currently reading: Made in America by Bill Bryson; Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick
Currently noticing: 嫁給 jià gěi - marry (how could I have misunderstood those characters for so long?) 
Currently listening: Out of my League by Stephen Speaks

Riding with Hitler

Dear 長谷部Katoさん,

You and I have come to know each other pretty well.  I know that you panic at the sight of snow and no wonder with your last winter.  (On second thought, aren't you from Wolfsburg Germany?)  And it's the end of the world for you when you get low on gas but not when your emergency brake is on.  I know that you get touchy on windy days.

Of  course you have learned some of my quirks as well.  Such as the fact that I often spend hours in absolute silence.  And that my stomach lurches at the sight or thought of deer.  You know that late at night, I prefer Korean music but on nights back from DC I prefer Khalil Fong.  More than anyone else in my life, you have listened with me to my Asian music over and over and over and over without complaint.  You have heard my frustrations, my dreams, my fears, my questions and my hopes.

You are the most faithful little friend a person could ask for and you always get me home safely even during that snow that you despise or those late windy and rainy days when you and I both wish we weren't on the road.

In the past two months, you and I have gone to Charlotte, NC 3 times, to Washington, DC 7 times, to Richmond twice and once to that random corner of Maryland between West Virginia and Pennsylvania.  5000 miles, over 80 hours together and mostly just us (and Hitler if we're using Beato's counting method).  We're both getting ragged and peaked around the edges.  While I am amazed that I have not tired of your company, eating up the road as our means of spending time together is rather losing some of its charm.  How about we try some other activities - movie watching or simply meandering down 29?

I've always wanted to know why there is a historic marker in Manassas entitled 'Rock Fight!'

要乖！

Love,
Me

Currently reading: Made in America: An Informal History of the English Language in the United States by Bill Bryson
Currently noticing: 城堡 Chéngbǎo - Castle
Currently listening: Hello by SHINee (Does anyone else think Primary song?)

Why Kato hates snow!