Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Peace, Be Still

Did you know that the antithesis of peace as I've studied it in the scriptures is disorder?  It's not war.  It's not discord.  It's chaos.

I'm having another one of those days.  The type of day when you turn on your pumps and it makes a weird noise and somehow that leads to setting off the fire alarms and then having to explain everything to your lab's director and then again to the police department and to the fire department and to the university's facilities management.  (I wish I was making this up)

My life is in chaos.  I'm trying my best to keep it together but with every new thing that goes wrong in my lab, I feel like I'm grasping at straws.  I'm running out of time.  My lab is running out of money.  I'm running out of things I can fix (but not, apparently, running out of things that can break).  I'm so close (or so everyone tells me) and yet the fight is just getting harder.

I was given some advice the other day from my friend.  She said, "Have you ever tried to stop asking questions, stop trying to work things out and just sit?  Just take some time to be with God and just be still?"

I looked at my friend in surprise.  Sit still?  Do nothing?  While my life stumbles along on a crash course to who knows what?

Well, after what happened today, I'm mad enough to want to go kick something really hard.  I'm frustrated enough that I want to go to a dark corner and cry for days.  I'm crazy enough that I might just give what my friend suggested a try.

So, I'm off to the woods where crying, kicking acorns and rocks or simply just sitting can't hurt anything but certainly might help.

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