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Friday, May 27, 2011

Ditch Digging

"I don't know if I can help, but I want to lend a hand" - Pretty People by Monkey Majik

Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep because I want more than I feel capable of.

I wish to help, to lift, to inspire.  I want the world to be a better place because I lived in it, even if no one remembers or notices what I have given it.

I am so small, so little, and my sphere of influence so insignificant.  My abilities are limited.  Despite my greatest wishes, I have no talents that I would say ever set me apart and distinguish what I have to offer.

When I would seek to change the world, I struggle simply to change myself.  Where I would hope to counsel, comfort and cheer, I find myself stumbling in my anxiety and often hurting those whom I seek most to help.

Would that the the desires of my heart could translate to something more than just a wish.  Would that the music, the beauty that I feel inside could express itself.

Instead I look in the mirror, I look at who I am, and what I accomplish and I marvel that I could ever dare to dream so much.

Would that I could be content with this simple work that I have been given.

1 comment:

  1. Erin. Stop being so hard on yourself. You don't see what other people see and what other people see is how hard you try to make them happy! You're wonderful and I love you. The end.

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