Thursday, December 15, 2011

Relegation Revisited

I woke up this morning with one thought: I was here once before, six months ago, facing relegation.  But this time, it's real.  It's not some self-appointed goal I would like to meet to save face.  If I don't pass my proposal defense, then...

Six months ago, I was a sad little soul, working her heart out in her lab with nothing to show for her efforts.  Except this: that people loved her, that she would never give up, and that, in the end, things have a way of working themselves out.  (If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end)

I've been struggling for the past 6 months since then to keep myself going despite my exhaustion.  Yet, so many people have done so much to keep me going.

A very small example of this: I need a computer for my proposal tomorrow to Skype in a professor for the defense.  My own computer will be used for the presentation and it's doesn't have any Skype capability anyway.  I sent out a random request to the people in my ward.  Within 5 minutes, I had multiple people write me back, offering their services.  In fact, even hours after the fact, I still have people texting and emailing to make sure I am set.  People that I love, people that I know well, people that I don't know well, people that I wished I knew better.  How does a girl get so lucky?

Despite my worries about "relegation" I have to keep these things in my mind.
I'm not alone in this battle.  I never was.

12 hours.  12 hours.

I can do this.