Administrator: What are you doing in this building?
Me: I'm looking for Post Awards.
Administrator: They aren't here. You know that.
Me: Yes, but they move around so often, I don't know where to find them. I thought if I came here, I might find someone who could tell me where to go.
Administrator: They're in Small Hall now.
Me: See? It worked.
Me: Time to take a nap Alexis. Here, lay down next to me on the couch and watch this episode of Dora.
<I doze off>
Alexis: Catch the stars Dora! <claps her hands>
Me: <waking up> Well, I guess I'm the only one sleeping in this arrangement.
Me: What number is on my shirt?
Alexis: (whispers) Seventeen.
Me: WHAT?! Seventeen?
Me: Did you really just say Seventeen?
Me: Baby! My love! You got it right!! How did you know??
Talking with a new student in my English class:
Student: (in Chinese) Do you get to practice your Chinese much?
Me: Nai, nai, nai.
Me: <thinking> Uhhh...that was not English or Chinese but more like pretend Japanese. Oops.