I live in a basement apartment which means it's always cold and always has bugs.
I only have one rule regarding those bugs - No bugs in the bedroom. Whenever I find a bug, I always tsk them, "You know the rules - You're not allowed in here."
Then I chuckle because they're bugs. Of course they don't know! I carefully nudge them to escape to the living room where they are free from my wrath. And by wrath, I mean concern about what they are doing.
The other day, I was in my very clean bedroom and a bug came crawling across the floor towards my bed/mat-on-the-floor. I picked up my slipper in case I needed to use it to discourage his current trajectory. The bug saw me pick up the slipper and started running towards my bed even faster. I brought the slipper down and swooped the bug across the floor over to the other side of the room where I hoped he would find my dresser more interesting.
I picked up my book and started reading. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement and looked up to find the bug right next to my elbow. In shock and surprise, I jerked back and we both stopped and looked at each other for a brief second. Then, of his own accord, the bug went sprinting across the floor.
My laughter followed his speedy retreat. I watched him for a few minutes more, trying to find something interesting in the baseboard heaters across the room.
I went back to my book. I guess he learned the "No bugs in the bed" rule.
Alternate career no. 4546473: Bug whisperer.