Match-making

I once had a friend whose mentor was L. Tom Perry.  L. Tom Perry was especially interested in her dating life.  One day he decided to bestow upon her his words of wisdom regarding finding that 'special someone'.  "Two words: nursing homes.  You go home and think about that."

She did go home and think about it a LOT.  She went back to him a week later.  "Um... that advice you gave.  Don't you think that would work more for someone your age?"  (Elder Perry is 88 now)

Then he laughed and explained that the way to find someone is to go out and do service and then you will meet someone along the way who is doing service too.

Except I think there might be something to nursing homes.  I've been visiting nursing homes regularly since my mission 8 years ago.  In that time, I've come to realize no one likes to matchmake quite like the residents of nursing homes.

When I visited Richard in Provo at East Lake Care Center, he would always ask my friend Paul.  "Where's Paul?  Why isn't he here with you?"  I would respond with something vague.  And then he would snort in frustration, "Why does that man want to go looking for a wife when you're right here in front of his face?"  It was really quite flattering, that is, until I remembered that Richard's marriage proposal to his first wife consisted of three questions and the words, "Well, I don't really quite love you.  But I think I could love you.  Will you marry me?"

Then there was my boyfriend at Morningside Residence Center.  It was a monthly ritual to go and sing with the residents there.  This was like any other visit until a man hobbled in and sat down.  He took one look around the room and then interrupted the song to point at me, "I want you to come sit here next to me."  A little embarrassed, I complied with his wish, only to have to avoid getting kissed by him the rest of the time, especially when we sang, Tiptoe through the Tulips.  Up until he died, every month, that man would seat himself at my side. (Even when I played the piano, he would scoot his chair next to mine and put his hand on my knee)

You can imagine my worry then about a year later when, during our visit, some man came up next to me and started asking in a not-so-quiet voice, "Who is that looker sitting over there across the way?  What is her name?"  I looked over to see my friend, Kelly, innocently singing away.  I decided to play dumb.  "What girl? The one in green?"  "What?! I don't see any girl in green.  She's wearing brown."  I looked over again and saw a resident sitting next to Kelly wearing a brown sweater.  With a relief, I laughed at my mistake.

Yesterday can now be added to the annals.  It was really nice to meet Lois' cousin, Phyllis.  She was friendly and chatty.  She had this wonderful, endearing ability to refer to her husband always in the third person, as though he was far away, rather than just sitting right next to her.  "George this" and "George that".  I would look over at him and he would smile at me and add his comments, all the while, Phyllis is still chattering away.

When I told her I was Lois' friend, that I met Lois through Lance, she glowed.  "Ohhh.  We've been wondering if Lance was a beau of Lois'.  She talks about him all the time."  I smiled, since that's all Lois talks about with me too.  Phyllis beamed, "So, is Lance your special friend?"  I laughed.  "Oh no!  He's engaged to a girl from Minnesota."  That promptly dropped Lance from her list for me of potential suitors...

...But not, apparently, anyone else.  Because a few minutes later, the only male in the entire building under the age of 50 walked past and Phyllis nudged me.  "Is that a doctor here?"  I looked up to see a man in a shirt and tie walk past the lounge area.  "He smiled at you!   I think he must like you!"  She practically squealed like a 13 year old.  I just shook my head.  And then when she was getting up to leave, she said, "Oh!  I haven't introduced you to George.  This is George - he really likes women."  I looked between her and George, suddenly feeling like I wanted to run as George took my hand.  George mumbled something about "only liking much older women - curvy, black ones" so I assumed he was as harmless as I always believed him to be.

It was all so surreal that you just leave shaking your head in astonishment.  Did that really happen?

But it did.

Nursing homes.  Really, Elder Perry?  I think you might be right.

On another 'match-making' note, Hasebe and Co. are playing BVB in a BVB v. Japan Europe Charity Match today.  I'm so proud of him for helping to organize it.  It also makes me laugh a little since most of the players from the Japan Europe team are members of the Bundesliga, which means that, at multiple times or another, they were creamed by Deutscher Meister BVB.

On another anti-matchmaking note.  I keep playing these two songs on repeat.  I don't know why.
Greeeen キセキ - This song is the ultimate upbeat mushy love song.  It means, I think, Miracle.  The lyrics are all about how much it's a miracle that they are in love and walking hand and hand through life.

BIGBANG - Love Song.  I don't actually know what this means but I think it must be the anti-love song since the English part is, "I hate this love song.  I hate this love song."

I think the end result is that I'm romantically 'meh'.