希望 (Hope)

長谷部誠さん　へ、

Life doesn't seem too kind right now, does it, mein lieblinggspieler?  In a test match, you fell and tore the meniscus in your knee.  (I still don't even know what a meniscus is, by the way.)  You braved the first wave of surgery and rehabilitation with courage and confidence.  But then, the pain came back.  Within days, you were back in Japan, back under the knife, and back in a hospital bed.  The road to recovery begins once more.

When all is said and done, I know you'll be fine.  You're a good man who is supported and loved by many people.  You have a good head on your shoulders and optimism and perspective that impress me.

But in the meantime?

If there was one thing that I could offer you across the distance, it would be this: hope.  I wish I could hand it over like a pearl, reflecting its own certain kind of gleaming light.  Then in those moments when you feel a little less than brave, a little less than confident, a little less than optimistic, you could take it out and examine it.  As you hold it, you could absorb some of that light and the perspective of the bright future that awaits you.  I wish hope were that tangible.  So, instead, I write you this post, wishing that, somehow, my faith in you and who you are will burn bright enough to send a little ray in your direction.  Don't give up.  Don't give up on hope.

Life is not easy, nor is the path certain.  But you are strong enough to endure.

Love,
Me

P.S. As per usual, this post is not just about Hasebe-san.  To all of my dear loved ones who are facing some difficulties and uncertainties on your respective journeys, please never forget that virtue hope, which helps us face our future as we progress beyond our present.

View from from Ensign Peak

The Joy of the Children

That line - "the joy of the children was in his voice" - is hands down my favorite line from the book Christy by Catherine Marshall.  I don't even know what children she was referring to but I definitely know what kind of joy she's talking about.  It's something that bursts out in a tumble of energy and spontaneity and is both deep and pure. 

I found this gif today on tumblr for the moment (I'm almost sure of it) when Japan found out they were going officially to the World Cup in Brazil.
 

It's a moment when Hasebe literally jumps for joy.

I can't seem to stop watching it, marveling at how child-like he is in this moment - the joy of a little Japanese boy who dreamed one day of going to the World Cup but probably never dared to dream that he would be the captain that led his team there.  Part of me wonders if I'm the only one who could watch this all day until I think about his mother, who must absolutely adore this moment, when her 29 year old son seems no older than six.

We all grow up from childhood too quickly - we start to pick up burdens that are heavy; we start to concern ourselves with decorum and what is expected of us.  We rarely have those moments of completely giving ourselves up entirely to our joy.

But I confess, it is moments like this that I hope for most for my friends and loved ones.  Those are the moments that make all the tears and the struggles and the heartache worth it.  Those are the moments I remember forever. 

Compliments

On Sunday, Makoto Hasebe scored the equalizer for his team in a game against Hamburg, with a great assist from Ivan Perisic.  

After the game, his coach talked about the game and the players.  He said of meinlieblingsspieler, "Makoto ist unser Mister Hundertprozent zuverlässig."  I put the German here because somehow looking at those words in German is just fun.  Also, aside from that last word - which means reliable - it is completely understandable to the English speaker.  "Makoto is our Mr. 100% Reliable."

The words from his coach expressed exactly what I've been seeing the few seasons I've been watching him.  They conveyed a strong message: Hasebe is one of those players that you can trust.  He's consistently where he's supposed to be, doing what he's supposed to be doing.  If you give him a task, he will do it.  You don't have to worry about him.

As I've been basking this compliment all week on behalf of Hasebe, I've been thinking a lot about what people can say about us and what types of compliments we can hope to receive.  (I think Blue Castle refers to this as "tasting these compliments" - I like that idea.  The compliment never loses its savor.)

I think that being dependable and trustworthy (read: reliable) is one of the best ones I can think of.  Wouldn't that be great if my boss could say of me, "Erin is 100 % reliable"? Or if God could say that?  Or my family and friends?

"When I need her, she's there."  "When I ask her to do something, it's done."  "I just don't have to worry about her being where she needs to be."  "I trust her completely."

(I'm not fishing for compliments here and believe me, I know that I'm not perfect in this area.)

My resolve to do better is renewed.  

And Mr. Hasebe has inspired me once again, just like I knew he would.  :)  

Source: Vfl-Wolfsburg Webseite

On a slightly related note, Makoto on his blog reported that his teammates and coach have been teasing him all week, calling him a "goal getter"  which is such a clever play on the term "go-getter" that I can't help but chuckle.  (And also secretly wonder if his Japanese fan base understands the beauty of that pun)

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

Today, in Japanese class, my teacher told me that her niece had a mutual friend with Shinji Kagawa.

I stared at her in shock.  "You're telling me that your niece is friends with someone who is friends with Shinji Kagawa?"

She nodded.

"So, that means I'm friends with someone who is related to someone who is friends with someone who is friends with Shinji Kagawa."

She nodded again.

I couldn't stop smiling as I did the math.  "I'm four degrees away from the famous soccer player, Shinji Kagawa."

She smiled.

"That means I'm five degrees away from Makoto Hasebe."

She nodded.

"This is the best news I've heard all day," I declared, not quite believing my good luck.  It almost made up for our disappointing loss to Jordan earlier.  My friend's niece is a model and I've seen her picture in magazines so I kind of already felt special.  But this was better than I could have hoped for.

(Man hair is hard to stick figure draw.  My apologies to Messieurs Kagawa and Hasebe) 

I went back to work and declared my wonderful news to my colleague.  He smiled at me.  "You know, I bet from any Wikipedia article, I can get to Adolph Hitler in as many degrees."  H-labs to film to indoctrination to Adolph Hitler.  He smiled at me, "Everything is interconnected."

Spoil sport.

Asleep on the Job

Dear Youtube,

At first I was confused when my watching a Makoto Hasebe commercial for en-japan prompted you to recommend a Taylor Swift music video.  Was there a connection between Taylor and Hasebe that I was missing?  Did Makoto Hasebe secretly listen to Taylor Swift?  Did Taylor Swift like Japan?  But then I noticed the rest of the page was recommendations of Taylor Swift from videos that had no connection to each other or to Taylor Swift.  

Also, why do you feel the need to recommend videos that I've already watched? 

It makes me feel like you don't pay attention to my watch history at all.  (Frankly, I'm ok with that.)     

Love,

Me

Dear Bayern,

The only time I cheer for you is when you play Europe.  During, yesterday's game, I was on pins and needles hoping for great plays from Mandzukic and great saves from Neuer.  Then, sometime, much later, I remembered I never watched the matchcast to the end of the game.  I had jumped up to check on my laser sheet and then on the laser chiller and the nitrogen outside and my iodine levels.  I completely forgot about you.  

Sorry about that - it seems my priorities are exactly where they should be.  Welcome to the Elite Eight in the ECL.  

Love,

Me

Dear Mr. Bear's owner,

You are amazing.  Thank you for teaching me about what it means to be friendly and kind.  Good luck on your PhD.  And good luck to your Indiana Jones husband.  

Love,

Me

Dear Charlottesville,

You may send snow my way next week.  But I'm not convinced it's still winter.  Everything is on the verge of bursting into life.  I am so excited.

Love,
Me

Cryptic Messages

Dear Hasebe-san,

I feel like Olive from Ella Enchanted (the book, NOT the movie): "You o me 6 KJs.  I danced with the prince to times while you were eeting.  Pa me."  Substitute a few word changes where appropriate but the sentiment is the same.  Seriously, kid, please write on your blog.  

Love,
Me


Dear Self,

Lately, you're like Sophie when she invented that really amazing weed killer.  Something's gotta change.

Love,
Me


Dear Weather,

Tuesday, I drowned.  Yesterday, I was comfortable.  Today, I'm freezing.  It's not March yet.  But is it spring?

Love,
Me


Dear World of Kpop,

"In related news, popcorn prices have increased by over 9000 percent."

Love,
Me


Dear Pump,

I'd like to know what you do with all that water I gave you.  Where does it all go?  It's a closed loop and there are no known leaks.  I live in perpetual fear that I will break you but frankly, you're getting a bit greedy, don't you think?

Love,
Me 


Dear Downton Abbey,

I don't know who died and outraged the world in season 3.  However, since I know it happens, I'm less inclined to love you wholeheartedly in seasons 1  and 2.  I can see you for what you are, oh manipulative one.  One can only pray real life is kinder than your writers.  Otherwise, we'll all suffer from emotional whiplash.

Love,
Me

Here are some recent random pictures I've taken.  I really love the tree.  Its gaping scars...

Awesome starts NOW

After Toyota's One and Only campaign ended in utter confusion, Toyota went back to the drawing board and wrote up a second season (AKA Epilogue).  

At one point, Joon/Kwon - I can't keep them straight anymore - was driving a car and talking about one of it's internet search capabilities.  

Mystery Man: Wow!  That Camry SE really IS amazing.  

Joon/Kwon: No, Amazing starts NOW.  

Me:  Hahahahahahahaha.  (I can't stop laughing...ever)  

In other news, my boys Samurai Blue are one win closer to the World Cup.  I'm so proud of Kiyotake-san and Okazaki-san for their goals and of Nagatomo-san for his two amazing crosses that helped those goals happen.  

I think I should buy myself a pack of gold stars and start rewarding myself for little victories in life.

Because gold stars are awesome.

And awesome starts now.

Restless

It's been almost 2 weeks since I returned to the States.  I think I thought I'd be back to "normal" life by now.

My first week back, I realized how different my life had been in Japan.  Over there, I lived in an apartment the size of my friend's living room, never touched much less hugged another person, spent all of my spare time walking in the streets, and could travel anywhere I wanted by myself.  Suddenly I was living in my friend's spare bedroom, eating meals with her and her husband, receiving lots of hugs from her (to make up for my lack in Japan, she insisted) and there were lots of places I simply couldn't get to unless I asked for a ride.

In this second week, I've started bashing my experience in Japan.  I promised myself I wouldn't do it but somehow it just spills out.  Japan was wonderful - no doubt about it.  I learned some hard lessons though.  And for some reason the bitter struggles from those hard lessons are now showing themselves in unwonted ways.

When I first got back, Charlottesville felt the same.  Eerily the same.  However, now I'm seeing the differences.  Some of them, in fact, are so stark that I just marvel that change can happen so quickly in 3 short months.  The JPA bridge opened up.  Newcomb Hall got such a new facelift that I ended up wandering around it in, lost.  Even my lab - I showed up the first day to find that a shock tube experimental facility waiting out in the parking lot, just waiting to be installed into our machine shop.  People too, have changed.  Friends start dating, get engaged, move away.  Those things don't just happen overnight.  Then again, they do.  People adjust and move on but somehow, I'm still reeling in shock.

Some of my old annoying habits have come back.  Mein lieblingsspieler held a minor place in my conscious thought in Japan.  Here, he occupies a decidedly much larger part of my life - do I even get through a day anymore without bringing him up as though he's my best friend?  I feel like I'm clinging to something.  It all feels so desperate.  Where does this desperation come from though?

In Japan, I was always alone and often lonely.  Here, I am surrounded by people and never lonely.  However, in so many ways, I've never felt so alone.

I think I like to pretend that Hasebe is the kid from two years ago who was lonely himself and admitted so on his blog.  (Although now I'm realizing it might have been a Google (mis)translate).  He's not that kid any more though.  His life is full and happy and good (although he later edited the Good!  GOOD!  words off his blog and I wonder why).

All of this, then, leaves me trying to pull a life back together and realizing that none of the pieces are the same.

帰りました

He's returned.  THE kid.  When he talks, the whole office listens, not simply because he's friends with everyone but because he talks so loudly that not even our headphones can block out his conversations.  With his return, the others come out of their shells.  Ponta feels the need to stop by and even sits down and looks over the powerpoint presentation THE kid created to talk about what he learned on his summer vacation (internship to a train manufacturer).  Sakai-san, who is so quiet and unobtrusive that I've only seen five times in the entire time I've been in Japan, suddenly shows up at his elbow and the two shoot the breeze and gossip about everyone late into the night. 

He comes, bringing his souvenir treat from wherever he was in Japan (I forget) which looks like slime and tastes like azuki.

For the past three weeks, I have often caught myself randomly looking over at the empty desks of the people that I miss during the long hours of the day.  But now that he is back, his presence so fills our office that even though all the desks are empty but his and mine, there is enough activity and energy and noise as if every desk was filled. 

One would think, the way this kid comes and turns our office upside down that I would be annoyed.

He does bother me.  I throw on my headphones and listen to loud rock music in an attempt to block out his noise and try to focus, focus, focus on that engineering paper I'm reading.  There are times that I just want to tell him to go talk in the hall and to leave me in peace.

In fact, he's probably one of the only ones who doesn't leave me in peace.  Everyone is kind and wait for me to approach them.  But he sidled up to me my first week with a smile and begged for my sympathy for the paper he had to present at lab meeting.  Somehow, I not only gave the appropriate, "Poor you" comments, I looked at the paper, skimmed over it and tried to figure out the math and the concepts so that I could help him understand it as well.  The way he sort of laughs at himself while begging for your affection somehow hits a weakness I never knew I had.  I find myself loving him in spite of myself.

Not that he doesn't return the sentiment.  There is not a day that he leaves the lab and gives his general farewell to the rest of the office that he doesn't stop and deliberately turn back to me, his face breaking into a goofy grin that always gets a smile out of me, and with a wave says, "Goodbye!  Have a nice night!"  It's not the stumbled farewells everyone else gives when they realize that I don't understand the Japanese - it's a purposeful message to someone he made a point to remember. 

Now the office is loud again.  It's hard to concentrate. 

And yet...It's so good to have him back!

In other news, guess who else came back?  Games on Thursday and next Tuesday.  In case, you're still wondering, there's a BIG HINT below.

Source: VW Golf jp

Moving Woes

Dear Kagawa-san,

Well, kid, you did it.  You got yourself a spot in the English Premier League.  I know that you know a tough road still lies in front of you.  But I know you have the ability and discipline to make a name for yourself at Manchester.  Onward and upward.

Love,
Me

Source

Dear Mario,

WHAT?!  You're moving to ...FCB?  Really?  I know you're sad about not making it past the group stage at the Euro-cup but to run off and sign with Bayern is a little drastic, don't you think?  Sure, they're a good team who will actually be playing in the Champions League.  Sure they actually have a real fighting chance for Das Deutschermeister Titel...but...but.. it's Bayern!  You know, the team that everyone I know loves without any real grounds for doing so.  Why then are you giving me a reason to take an interest in their goings on?  I might end up liking them against my wishes.  Signing you was a significant move in that direction.

Love,
Me

Source

Dear Hasebe-san,

When I first saw the rumors on Sponichi that you were in talks about moving back to Urawa, I was furious.  Then I settled down and reasoned that there are other priorities that can come before your career - you know, like family.  Turns out, there was nothing to the rumors.  However, now that I've convinced myself that you being back in Japan was a good thing, I'm not sure what to think.  Just as long as you're happy.  That's all I ask.  


Love,
Me

Dear Charlottesville,


These Tuesday morning hikes have reminded me that out of all the ups and downs of my graduate school experience, you have always been an up.  Thanks for being you.  I'm going to miss you.

Love,
Me


Dear Japan,

I'm coming!  At this point, it still feels like one big joke - as though any second I'm going to wake up and realize it was all just an elaborate dream.  But each day brings you closer and I'm realizing I have no idea what to expect.  Here's hoping for good things.

Love,
Me


Dear Self,

One last week in a young single adult ward.  From here on out, it's normal wards.  With married people.  And kids.  And babies.  And lots and lots of adjustment.  You never thought you'd make it to this point unmarried, did you?  Then again, you never thought you'd get a PhD.  Or go to Japan.  Or buy a really frivolous pair of high heels that make you feel like Valancy.  I think life just works like that - it doesn't run according to our expectations.  But don't give up - the Gospel is true and God is aware of you and your circumstances.

Love,
Me

Men Vs. Boys

Boy: 

This is Ryo.  

He is 19.  

Source: Tumblr, chikio3

He thinks he is brave and cool for smelling Okazaki's cleats.  

Man: 

This is Hasebe.

He is 28.  

Source: Tumblr, chikio3

"No way am I smelling his cleats!"  

I think that about sums it up. 

Night and Day

MH: Attended Fujieda Higashi High School which is famous for, among other things, its soccer program and putting out great soccer players.

Me: Attended the North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics, whose name alone probably serves as an explanation of the school's focus. 

MH: Never attended college.  

Me: Never stopped attending college.  

MH: Started his first real career path job at age 18.  

Me: Has yet to land her first real grown up job.  (No shame, honestly.  I don't regret my stints as a custodian, pizza-maker, dry cleaner, pruner or TA in the least) 

Me: A rocket scientist.  

MH: Not a rocket scientist.  

MH: Speaks German, which is a distant cousin to English.

Me: Speaks Chinese, which is a very distant cousin to Japanese.  

MH: Wrote the number one bestselling book in Japan for 2011.  

Me: Dreams of publishing something one day.  (Although I can claim second/third author on a few journal articles) 

MH: Adores his niece.

Me: Adores her niece.  

Even two people who are as different as night and day can find something in common: Nieces rock!

Baby's curious face

Me and my niece - taken by the niece

Good Friday

Dear Self,

Do you remember that one time when you forgot your lunch at home?  So you went home to eat and a package was waiting for you?  A package from Germany?  A package with a soccer ball in it?  A soccer ball that your favorite Bundesliga team signed?  A favorite team that included your favorite soccer player?

Remember that day?  Ha, how could you forget?

Love,
Me

I used to laugh at Makoto's signature -
that is, until I saw his teammates'.
At least I know which scribble is his.  

I might be biased

Last year, one of my friends attended a Kpop concert in which she was immediately asked by some very eager and excited girls, "Who's your bias?"

It's a funny question but one that makes sense.  Essentially, which group are you most here to see?  Which person in that group is the one that keeps you interested?  For a culture like Kpop in which there are literally hundreds of bands with similar music styles, a bias is what draws you to one band over the other.  Further, within a band of boys (or girls), having a bias helps you start to distinguish the members from each other.  Otherwise it's just a mass of all similar looking boys (or girls) who change their hair color and clothes every thirty seconds.

Picking a bias is always kind of a random thing for me but, for some reason, they usually stick.  My bias within Shinee?  Onew, all the way.  Why?  I have absolutely no idea.  I mean, there are lots of great things about him: he's smart and witty and he doesn't mind making mistakes; he also takes his career in stride and knows when to take something seriously and when not to.  But why I chose him over Jonghyun, Minho, Taemin or Key who all have pretty impressive qualities themselves is not anything that I can really put my finger on.  (Although I do like awkward people and I'm not sure anything quite beats the Onew Condition when it comes to awkward)

A bias is also kind of a funny thing because it can have little to do with actual musical tastes.  For example, my favorite Korean band is CNBlue but I don't know much about the band itself other than genuine appreciation for their music.  In this way, they work like an American band.  I love their music, own their albums, listen to it in the car and sing along but for the most part, I don't spend my free time looking them up.  A bias on the other hand - it could be the most inane article on some random kpop website and suddenly I'm convinced, "I need to read this and find out if Onew really does insist on having pink sprinkles on his ice cream cones."  (Not a real story but if it were, you can bet I probably read it)

All of this is just to give you a glimpse at the power of a bias in my funny little life.  Of course, everyone really knows that my biggest bias is none other than Makoto Hasebe.  I first noticed him during the World Cup but how I noticed him is a mystery to even myself.

No matter, just like with a Kpop bias, this bias gave me a team to cheer for and a player to watch.  Soon enough, the rest of the team became familiar to me.  Before I knew it, I suddenly had a favorite team in the Bundesliga as well.

On Friday, I had the rare occurrence of watching Hasebe play (via ESPN3).  Since the World Cup, I can count the number of times I've watched Hasebe play on one hand.  While I settled into the game, I couldn't help but smile as I watched him move around the field and interact with his teammates; I was reminded all over again why this kid first caught my eye.  I like to think that, despite my bias, I am still pretty fair in my assessment.  I don't have any illusions that Hasebe is the best player in the Bundesliga or even the best player on his team.  I've read enough reports on him to know that although a good technical player with good dribbling and ball handling skills, he is slow for a midfielder and he sometimes struggles to attack and push the game up field.  However, on Friday, as I watched I felt that I was competently gauging that he was playing a good game.  He was aggressively moving the play forward but also solidly proved to be where he needed to be in his position as defensive midfielder.  Yet, when the second half of the game started, Hasebe was promptly subbed out of the game.

Source: 

I stared at the screen in shock.  Had my bias really affected my judgment so much?

The answer is Yes.  But not for the reasons you think.  I went back and rewatched the game.  Hasebe did play a solid game.  It wasn't error free but, then again, no one was.

So, here's really how my bias affected me:  I spent part of my Friday watching a soccer game.  I spent part of my weekend on and off thinking about that soccer game and my assessment of it.  I spent part of my Tuesday rewatching that soccer game.  In short: I am a soccer fan.

This from the girl who dreamed about (American) football in middle school, the girl who played rugby in college and the girl who never bothered to find the time to sit down and just watch sports.

So, how is it that I now schedule time and energy dedicated to the "beautiful game"?

Well, like I said, a bias can be a funny thing.

Source:

Brewing Thoughts

I have a lot of serious things on my mind so while I mull over them, let's peruse the superficial.

(1) I want to write a short story that includes my awkward experiences as a human being.  However, I have no idea where to begin.  Somehow, I feel that I would have to be a literary genius such that the full glory of my awkward life is exhibited while remaining entertaining.  Any ideas?

(2) A few weeks ago, the JNT played a friendly against Norway.  Despite the fact that most of the first team was not in attendance, I was surprised to find that I recognized and still knew most of the team.  Realizing that I knew so much about a team that I have no real connections to, I decided that I should show a little more hometown loyalty and so I dutifully looked up the USMNT to find out if I could attend a game and show my support.  Instead, I came to the conclusion that it has been too long since USA has played Japan. Their last showdown was six years in San Francisco and, incidentally, the debut of Makoto Hasebe.  I think it's time for a rematch.  In DC please - I have never watched my Samurais play live and I would love the opportunity to wear blue and scream their names and wring my hands in desperation as I hope for a win.

(3) Kato works again!  Yesterday, when I went to pick up his new battery, I accidentally said "Wolfsburg" the German way before correcting myself and repeating it like an American would. The auto store clerk took it in stride but my friends and I laughed at my mistake the rest of the night.  It's good to have my sidekick with me again, even if I live in fear that any minute he's going to break again.

(4) This weekend, I spent a considerable amount of time with my friend and her fiance.  On Friday, we picked up a friend from the airport and then returned home to go running and then watch a movie about Steve Prefontaine.  On Sunday, we put together 80 invitations and ate dinner.  It was during the dinner - nothing more than leftovers from other meals - that I realized how much my friend's life is changing.  In a few months, I will eat a meal at that same table and watch those two laugh and chat and enjoy each other but they will be married, not just dating.  I couldn't be happier for them.

(5) Makoto Hasebe has been looking so happy and at peace in pictures on his blog and on the soccer websites.  Any guesses as to why?  I'm pretty curious.
Previously:

Recently:

I've never seem him like this at a
press conference before
Source: Tumblr
Photo Credit: Koko NAGAHAMA

(6) I found this on the sidewalk last week:

My thoughts immediately went to the Korean boy band, Trax ,which boasts such hits as "Oh, My Goddess" and "Blind".  It next went to the transit system in Utah.  It wasn't until I googled Trax that I discovered that it was mostly likely a nod to the club that Dave Matthews Band used to frequent.  It closed in 2001, making that sidewalk at least 10 years old.

(7) While out walking the other day, I walked past this fashion statement:

Is this for real?  Do people really wear seafoam green pants with plaid shirts?  Or is this just a UVa thing?

The Blues

(1) I was talking with my sister on the phone the other day and she was telling me adorable stories about my niece. One night, my sister put the Baby down to sleep.  As my sister walked out of the room, she heard my niece quietly practicing words to herself.  "B..b...b..lue.  B..lue...  Blue."

(2) BIGBANG, a Korean pop band, put out this music video entitled Blue about a week ago.  It seems someone besides my niece has been practicing how to say 'blue' as well.  I really like this song and find it wonderfully appropriate that kpop is keeping up with the current trends of my niece.

(3) The Samurai Blues played this morning (5:30 EST) and lost to Uzbekistan.  Sad day.   I was hoping for a good successful game for my boys.  Instead, most of the team will have to take their jet lagged little selves back to their various teams with only a second place finish in their group for this round of the World Cup qualifiers.

Source: Tumblr.
Photo credit: Koki NAGAHAMA

Source: Tumblr,
Photo credit: Koki NAGAHAMA

In any case, it was nice to have them back home for a few days.  I always forget how much I miss them in their roles as JNT representatives rather than Bundesliga spieler, etc until they're back in Japan.  But by the time I've rejoiced in having them back in Japan, they've already played and left again.  Such is the life of a fan in a time zone 14 hours behind.

(4) It's the last day in February. I was supposed to hear from the NSF if I was going to get the Japanese internship by the end of February. I was really hoping for that internship. Now I have to learn to deal without it. Singing my blues on repeat above.

(5) The day started out with some fabulous thunderstorms and heavy rain. I normally love rain. However, since Kato-san is currently out of commission, that meant I walked 30 minutes to work in the pouring down rain. On the other hand, this is the gorgeous view that greeted me last night when I left the lab to walk home.

Worth Living

Makoto introduced this song to me today:

No, really, you should listen to this.  Japanese Reggae.


It's a song of gratitude for our parents (and more specifically, mothers) for our lives and for who we are.

As a result, I've spent the day thinking and pondering and remembering.

Definitely grateful...

International Relations

Dear Bulgarian,

After my brief stint with you back in 2000, I never thought I'd use you again.  And yet, somehow in my very last assignment for my very last class EVER in my academic career, there I was, relying on my understanding of the Cyrillic alphabet to study and analyze an engineering paper in Russian.  I'm kind of looking forward now to seeing where/when Welsh will pop up.  Life continues to twist and turn ...

Love,
Me


Dear North Korea,

Your Dear Leader is dead.  It's so funny to realize where people stand on the issue by their reactions.  Some people wonder what this mean for Beijing.  Some people wonder what this means for Kim Jong Eun.  Some people simply wonder what this means.  I feel like I'm about to burst, anxious to understand what your future will hold.  Here's hoping for good things.

Love,
Me


Dear Eiji-san,

You've only been on your team for a year, you aren't even from Europe and you're already the team captain?  If that was not impressive enough, there's the fact that you bought season tickets in Frontale for underprivileged kids to attend games for free and you see nothing wrong with sleeping in on a Sunday.  For the record, if you're going to be teased about looking like a Pixar character, you have to admit: Buzz Lightyear is lightyears ahead of Mr. Potato Head on the 'attractive' scale.  

Love,
Me


Dear MH,

Your dirty, stinky cleats are worth more than I make in 3 months.  How does that even work?  I mean, soccer is soccer, but it's not exactly rocket science.  ;)  No, seriously, kid, all my love.  But would you please update something about your life other than the already well-documented TV spots on you?  I'm starting to think you actually enjoy having your face blown up and plastered on people's walls under the ruse of being a calendar.

Love,
Me

** edit.  Dear Hasebe-san, looking at you arrival in Narita, I realized how exhausted you must be.  Go home and rest up.  Love, Me.


Dear Julian,

Thanks for making me realize how much I miss Germany all over again.  Even if I can't express my love in words, I promise it's there.  Germany is special.

Love,
Me

Burn Out

Dear Germany,

The weirdest things have been happening - you have been coming up more and more in my conversations.  It's not enough to drink hot cocoa - I have to compare it to yours.  I idly think about traveling distances and times on the trains.  I find myself craving German torte.  I wonder if I could learn how to make schnitzel.  I keep making plans about what I want to go and see and do when I see you.  I have to keep reminding myself that it's not last year - that I'm not going to see you soon.  I think it's safe to say I miss you.  When will I see you again?

Love,
Me


Dear Subconscious,

Last night's dream was an utter nightmare.  Sure, it was nice that someone decided my lab looked old and dilapidated and I appreciated the remodeling.  However, when I saw the result of remodeling was that my own lab was now strewn across several offices and that the equipment was rendered useless through the carelessness of hasty remodelers, I couldn't stop the tears from coming.  There I was, with some new secretary at her desk, gawking at me while I bawled my eyes out, helplessly aware that my PhD degree was getting pushed back indefinitely.  Thanks for the (unnecessary) reminder that so many things could still prevent me from getting my degree.  Some friend you are.

Love,
Me


Dear Semester,

How is it that I only have two weeks until Christmas and yet I still have a semester of work left to do?  I promise I've been working hard.  So where did all that effort disappear to?  I would beg you to slow down so I can get something done but I don't know if that will even help at this point.  I'm just going to keep going until I can't anymore...

Love,
Me


Dear はせべさん,

The fact that you take a picture of every meal you eat, that you played babysitter and peacemaker the entire North Korean game, that you showed the camera men that you enjoy reading books out on our balcony and sometimes, you even rest your feet up on the balcony's railing/ledge when you do so, that you always manage to walk around with your glasses perched up on your forehead - when I see these things, I think, "How your mother must love you!"  I think I was supposed to see a mature 27 year old in all of these things but instead, I kept seeing a little boy who is good and doing his best, but little boy nevertheless, with a vulnerable little heart and plaintive eyes.  So, why is it that this week, with pictures on your blog of you losing your sled halfway down the sled run, and pictures of you riding on the children's carousel by yourself twice -  that which would assure your ever-present boyishness - why do I feel instead that we are just the same age after all?

Love,
Me  

From Tumblr, AP Photo

From Tumblr

Pocket Wookie

All week long, I've been slightly jealous of the Japan National Team.  From Doha, Qatar to Tajikistan to Beijing, China to Pyongyang, Korea DPR - one fascinating adventure after another to places that most people barely even hear about.

I was surprised to find that Tajikistan's game was played on a pitch worse than the one I played at my high school (Butler).  It looked like nothing but a dry plowed field.  (Hasebe's thoughts on the field? "It's basically dirt.  You could say the turf was green...if you looked at it from a really far distance.")  (I can't stop laughing)

However, I was most intensely curious about Pyongyang and conditions in North Korea.  After reading a few books on North Korea last year, I have spent much time since wondering about conditions there.  I wished that I could somehow be there with the team to see what they saw and to feel what they felt.

A few bits of news started trickling out about the North Korea/Japan encounter:

The Japan national team was detained at the airport for 4 hours due to problems with security.  During that time, power went out at the airport three times.  


The men at airport security warned the Japan national team to stop laughing.

The last team that beat North Korea in North Korea was assaulted with rocks and broken glass.  

The last time Japan went into North Korea for a soccer game was 22 years ago, in June 1989.  The world was very different than it was now - we were still in a Cold War.  June 1989, as many of you may recall, was the time of the Tiananmen Square Incident in Beijing, a startling reminder that China would remain red.  The Fall of the Berlin Wall, meanwhile, was still half a year away.

This time, however, North Korea is isolated, a hermit nation surrounded by flourishing nations on all sides.  The USSR is long gone.  China, though still red, is making its way up the ladder as a growing economic leader.  The heavily feared and worshipped leaders, the famines, and the stark, grey buildings that commonly marked communist countries of yesteryear almost seem like a distant memory to most of the world.  The pictures that appear out of North Korea though all too poignantly remind us that those aspects of communism haven't been eradicated yet.  (In fact, many of the articles that expressed the recent burst of soccer support in North Korea also made a point to state that currently 6 million people are going hungry)

Add to that the fact that Japan is one of Korea's most bitter rivals.  Ever since the military dominance (read: wartime atrocities) of the1940's, most of east Asia has struggled to overcome the wounds Japan inflicted.  For a recluse country like North Korea, with limited interaction with Japan, grudges remain and even fester.

So, there goes my team, into a hostile country, with only 150 supporters and a few dozen reporters to help broadcast the game home to Japan.  The supporters were asked not to bring any noisemakers or banners lest they upset the local fans and were surrounded by armed guards the entire game.

Despite the fact that Japan had already secured a berth in the next qualifying round and North Korea had lost that chance completely, this was long past simply being a soccer game.

North Korea had something to prove and they showed that in the 90 minutes when they dominated possession and managed the only goal of the game early in the second half.  Of course, it wasn't a clean win; North Korea booked seven yellow cards in the process.  But no matter how it ended, they came away the victors.  The first loss for Japan since the World Cup.  The first loss for Alberto Zaccheroni as head coach over the Samurais.

The whole situation kind of amazes me.  It also amazes me that the world didn't sit up and take notice.