Thursday, February 3, 2011

Letting it Out

Dear Trees Outside my Office,

Yes, that was me taking my anger out on you.  I'm not entirely sure why I've been so "angry Hase" lately.  Seriously, someone give me a red card and take me out of this game.  Let me sit out a few or something.

All I know is that I couldn't take it anymore.

It really was rather boy-ish of me to want to take out my anger using physical means.  It was satisfying to crush large piles of ice under my feet and then to scoop up the ice in my hands, form a crude iceball and chuck it your direction.  I promise I didn't do any damage at all.  Aren't you glad I'm a poor shot?

You see, it's not that I don't like you or that I'm mad at you.  It's more that I'm mad at me.

Well I ran out of ice before I ran out of anger.  So I stopped to stare at you for a while.  You remain stoic, unfazed by my frustrations.  While I screamed out, you echoed back only quiet and stillness.
Watching you, I realized that life is bigger than the petty setbacks of a lab.  The world continues to function.  And outside of myself, outside of my research, there exists great peace and even joy.

Thank you for showing me that.


1 comment:

  1. I know the feeling. Hang on. Hopefully the research will go better soon.