Can Google translate Missionary-ish?

While running my experiment today (yes! it actually ran!) I started reading old missionary emails from years ago. It was a nice trip down memory lane but I found myself laughing at the phrases I used.  No wonder people think return missionaries are just weird.

I made the bad mistake of asking this very single Taiwanese version of Heath Ledger where he was going. (I think a lot of guys here take it as a pick-up line rather than a lead into a Gospel discussion) Really? No kidding! If some random person came up to me and asked me where I was going, I would probably be just as confused.

On Saturday we followed up with a very sad girl who doesn't want to get married and has problems sleeping. I'm not sure how I ever found these details relevant or important. 

I found out that our dear 101 year old member was personal bodyguard to Chiang Kai Shek and came over with him on the boat. I love how I referenced 'the boat' as though it was some common well known fact how Chiang Kai Shek came to Taiwan. I'm sure my family was thoroughly confused.

This morning we went to the astronomical museum. It was a fun experience hanging out with my district. We couldn't read much on the signs explaining things so we just went from exhibit to exhibit pressing every button and doing every hands-on activity that we could. It was really fun and reminded me that before my mission, I had had a great desire to be involved in space technology. I guess NASA landed on Mars a little while back? The rumors you here in the mission field are always so old anyway that it's hilarious. I love that I referred to my love of NASA as some very distant and mythical 'once upon a time' thing. Did I really forget that much about my previous life as a normal human?

Ever since I got back from Shilin, we've been getting fanged lots. Fanged? It actually is Chinglish for "stood up" from "fang gezi" in Chinese. But I'm sure it sounds horrible to those not in the know.

With three people in our baptismal pool, we were thrilled and even found a fourth person who is contemplating getting baptized also. My sister's response to this email is probably the best: 3 people in the baptismal pool at once???????? do they just sit around waiting for something to happen? chinese people are weird.... ----I'm still laughing over this. For those still confused, here is my mother's explanation: The baptismal pool is the group of investigators that they feel are headed for baptism. They don't all get to sit in the font at the same time - though that might be interesting.

We went to COSTCO today. I didn't have any money so I didn't buy anything. I had thought that if I found something that I really really really couldn't live without and if it wasn't more than a few hundred dollars, I could buy it but nothing really jumped out at me. Aren't you proud of me? I'm sure I gave my parents a heart attack with the flippant way I managed my money. What could I ever want from Costco, food-wise, that was a few hundred dollars? Especially since I claimed that I was poor? Too bad I never bothered to explain that I was thinking in terms of Taiwanese dollars. A few hundred dollars would be the equivalent of 10 USD.