It's always an interesting experience the week before General Conference. You look at your life and decide which things you really want some answers to. You think about which speakers you think will speak on things that will touch you.
The week before Conference that Job would consider a pathetic attempt at a hard week but it felt very Job-like to me. I found myself, sadly enough, at one point, kicking a light post and screaming out to the world in Chinese, "為什麼？我是個好人!" ("Why? I am a good person!") Yes, conceit at its ugliest - not only was that comment declaring that I thought I was a righteous person but that somehow, because of that, I should be free from the hard times that are common to everyone's lives. I can't say it was the proudest moment of my week. Job would definitely have not reacted like that.
When Conference finally came around, I was numb and not sure anymore what questions I needed answered. I think I was even afraid to ask. With graduation and the hope for graduation looming ever nearer, I look forward in my life, craning, praying, hoping to see the next step and all is just darkness. For a person striving for a PhD, I can't believe how little direction I have.
Here are some of the thoughts that stuck out to me from Conference:
"Have ye inquired of the Lord?" (Sister Barbara Thompson)
"Do the right thing at the right time without delay." (Elder Jose L. Alonso)
"Because we depend so much on you, you will be greatly blessed." (President Boyd K. Packer)
"You matter to God." (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
"Do not be blown from one time wasting activity to another." (Elder Ian S. Arden)
The Brilliant Morning of Forgiveness by President Packer
"What does it mean to wait upon the Lord? It means to hope and trust in Him." (Elder Robert D. Hales)
"Trust in [God's] counsel and follow it." (President Thomas S. Monson)
"Your eternal destiny is not a result of chance but of choice." (Elder Randall K. Bennett)
"Our Father loves us so much that important things to us are important to Him just because He loves us." (Elder J. Devn Cornish)
I left feeling a lot of different things, as shown above. However, one thing that stands out is that I need to have a real relationship with God.
It's hard to just trust in the Lord...I'm a doer!
It's hard to trust in His plan...I'm a planner!
These next six months will be quite the adventure.
(On a completely completely unrelated note, I am CRAVING French macaroons. Anyone know of a good (fairly) easy recipe? Or where I can find them in Charlottesville, VA without spending an arm and a leg?)