Thursday, October 20, 2011

Laws of Attraction

It started when my sister asked if I thought a certain picture of Donghae looked like Zac Efron.  Since one of my friends and I have a thing for Zac, I thought I'd ask her.  
Lee Donghae of Super Junior
Zac Efron

Her response?

" know that guy is Asian."  

"Um...well, yes, he is."  

She insisted, "I think it's too hard for me to get past that to think that he looks like Zac Efron."  

I was shocked, floored.  She couldn't see the similarity in his expression and stance?  I let it go because honestly, I only somewhat saw the resemblance between Zac and Donghae myself.  I was intrigued though.  I asked her about it later - she admitted that she didn't find Asians attractive at all.  

Makoto Hasebe of Japan NT and Vfl Wolfsburg Fussball
Me: Not at all, at all?  You don't think Makoto is attractive?
Friend: Nope.  
Me: What?! Not at all?  But you said he reminds you of one of our other friends who you do find attractive.
Friend: Sorry.  He's just not attractive.
Me: How can that be?
Friend: At least I can appreciate that you think he's attractive.  

I think I pushed the issue for a long time, absolutely baffled.  We both find lots of different types of men attractive but for some reason she is just not attracted to Asians.  

Confused, I started asking other friends about their honest opinions about Asian men.  In fact, last night, I spent an entire hour searching for famous Asians that my roommate would classify as 'handsome'.  She blew through my IGA club in a second:  "I don't think men should be pretty."  "Definitely NOT handsome."  "Ewww."  
Lee Minho
Yunho of DBSK
Kim Hyun Joong of SS501

The search felt like an uphill battle.  I had no idea what her definition of 'handsome' was.  And it seemed the more I looked, I had no better idea than when I began. 
Hawick Lau
Song Seung Hun
Jo Hyun Jae
These all just got 'eh'

She insisted there was some handsome man from Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.  I went and looked up the cast.  There's a character in that movie whose role is "Exceedingly Handsome Man."  Did she agree?  Not at all.  (To be honest, neither did I)

In desperation, I started just looking up random actors in Japan and China even if I didn't think they were handsome just trying to figure out who/what she considered attractive.  Those didn't really work either.  

I started to wonder if something was wrong with my friends.  Or me.  Did I just have that bad of taste in men?  

Probably a little of both.  :)  

You see one of my friends has a weakness for tall, thin men.  While there are definitely tall, thin Asians (Lee Minho and Maya Yoshida both stand at 6'2")  the majority of men that I show this friend for a check on attractiveness average around 5'9".  

The other friend likes men are manly and who have square jaw lines.  Facial hair of course always helps but no long hair.  Again, there are some very hairy Asians but if the three-foot calendar of Makoto's head on my wall is any indication, some Asians can't grow anything more than a mustache.  (I finally found someone she found swoon-worthy: Akihiro Ienaga and Cha Seung Won)  
This attractive man who plays soccer
 for Mallorca, Spain stands at 5'9"
Actor Cha Seung Won stands at 6'2"
So, what's going on?

Last year, in a frustrating conversation with men.  Let's be honest: it wasn't a conversation.  I was a fly on a wall while I heard men that I'm acquainted with complain about women and their frustrations in dating women.  At one point, one of the men made the argument, "If you lined up 100 women and had men choose who was most attractive, they would probably all agree that about five of them were attractive.  But if you lined up 100 men and had women choose who was most attractive, it's anyone's guess."  (I wasn't sure why this made him so frustrated about dating women. To me, it seems that women's varying tastes in men would mean that he would have more of a chance of a girl finding him attractive.)

In any case, my friends and I just might be proving his theory correct.

***Looking back over this group of individuals, I think this might say more about my taste in men than anything about my friend's interests
*****Contrary to some ideas, I actually don't think all Asians are attractive or that all men I find attractive are Asian.
**My definition of attractiveness actually comes down to personality.  

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