Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Apologist

Dear English class,

I know that you are all anxious to read and discuss current events but lately, all the issues on the news just make me depressed.  Thanks for being good sports and humoring me with discussing the history of the ad industry in America instead.

Love,
Me


The Japanese version

The American version (sadly, I kind of like the Japanese one better)


Dear Taemin,

You are the cutest thing ever.  My sister and I want to adopt you.  We will be the best American noonas you never had.

Love,
Me
With hair like that and those blue-green contacts in, 
he looks like he might just belong in the family....Kind of.  

Dear Research,

I used to think something was wrong with you.  Now I understand, it's really just me.  I have no idea what I'm doing.

Love,
Me


Dear Kato,

I almost didn't know what to think when you went two weeks without a check engine light on.  I'm still in shock.  Inspections are up this month.  I life half in fear and half in hope.  Be a loyal sidekick, there's a dear.

Love,
Me


Dear F4,

Didn't I say you would grow to love me?  And buy me expensive things?  Although I wasn't happy to find my milk souring and my ice cream in a puddle in the freezer, it has been nice to get that nice new white shiny big fridge.  Several times a day now, I walk over to the fridge to open it and marvel how tiny my collection of food now looks.  Might I recommend a new dishwasher next?  Or a new stove?

Love,
Me


Dear Chinese PhD people,

I know that six years seems a long time to be in a graduate PhD program.  Believe me, I still wonder how I so blindly walked into this.  However, it's still a respectable time to graduate in.  Please stop laughing at me and bluntly telling me exactly how I've been messing up in my life plans.  Graduate school, you see, is already doing a great job at that.

Love,
Me


Dear Life,

A few weeks ago, while driving back from DC, a reverend giving a sermon on the radio said that the most common question he finds among people is, "Who am I?"  Thanks to you, I am getting a clear picture of who I am and who I am not.  However, that also comes with a healthy dose of, "I have no idea what I'm doing."  Care to enlighten me?

Love,
Me


Dear Vfl Wolfsburg,

People think I only like you because of a certain one of your teammates <cough Makoto Hasebe cough>. But honestly, I like your whole team.  I love Marcel for his zealous attention to Facebook.  I love Mandzukic for that amazing talent he has to look both disgusted and confused in every picture I've seen of him.  I love that Lakic's greatest self-admitted weakness is being too nice.  (You can guess that from just a glance at him - his eyes are too kind)  I also completely respect Hasan, Christian and Josue and so many others.  (Ochs, Helmes)  Now that you've made me a loyal fan, I'd love if it you'd start to show the rest of the Bundesliga what you're made of.

Love,
Me
Source: Vfl Wolfburg Fussball Webseite


Dear Taiwan,

It's that time of year again.  (Haha, when is it not that time of year?)  You know, that time when I miss you and wish that you and I were nearer?  But seriously, I'm craving hotpot and night markets and my friends.  Any chance you want to start a significant space program?  

Love,
Me

1 comment:

  1. I approve of the Taemin picture.
    Taemin, we really really really want to adopt you. Please at least consider it.

    ReplyDelete